He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Drunk is a universal language darling
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