Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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