No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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