Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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