He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Come see our sink grown plant.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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