Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i think my cat just said my name.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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