your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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