I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
