upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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