Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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