She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
