I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
