I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
