My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
