I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
