I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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