yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
