I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I would ride that face into the sunset
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
