No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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