i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
