Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
