She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
