Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So vagazzling was a success
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
