Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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