Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
