Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
