exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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