So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
