I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
