No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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