I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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