Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
