It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
