Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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