I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
