i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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