He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
