Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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