I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
