Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
