Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
