20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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