32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so let's talk penis.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
