Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
