i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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