Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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