How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
