sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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