is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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