...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
His nipple licking is glorious
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
