lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
