If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
