i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
