he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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