I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
