my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just want nice things and good sex
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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