Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.

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(613): View more from Ontario

ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.

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(404): View more from Georgia

The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?

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(865): View more from Tennessee

And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!

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