I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
