The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
