I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize